The next time a Class 2 zombie outbreak occurs in my
neighborhood, I’ll be well-prepared to deal with the shambling corpses of
hungry undead now that I’ve read Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead.
The Zombie Survival
Guide dispels exaggerated myths and legends of the undead and instead
presents the reader with unvarnished “truths” about zombies. You’ll find
information on zombies’ physical strength, sight, hearing, and rate of decay,
and the pros and cons of various weaponry for battling the undead (everything
from medieval maces and claymores, to M-16s and flamethrowers). It describes
various scenarios for identifying early signs of localized (Class 1) outbreaks,
to full-blown widespread undead infestation (Class 3). You’ll find best
practices for battling zombies in urban settings, in harsh desert and swamp
environments, even under the sea. The Zombie Survival Guide tells you how to
defend your home by stocking up with key food and supplies, moving to your
second floor and destroying all staircases (recommended for Class 2), or how to
survive on the run as you move to the most remote and therefore safest parts of
the planet in a world-wide zombie apocalypse in which mankind is overrun (Class
4). The best vehicle should an outbreak occur? You might not guess it, but it’s
a bicycle. On a bike you can easily outrun the slow, slouching pace of zombies,
it will never run out of gas, you can carry a bicycle over rough terrain, and you
can maneuver a bike through the inevitable traffic jams that accompany a
full-on panic. Motorcycles are very good too, though their noise attracts the
undead. Boats are also a secure means of travel, says Brooks, but watch your
anchor line—zombies walking on the ocean floor can use it to climb up to your
boat. “Hundreds” of hapless victims have died this way, Brooks tells us.
