Every so often I need to let out a good rant. It gets my blood going and my cold keyboard hot. Here’s one I’ve had on my chest for a while."Never, this is the end" ... of tired internet arguments.
So sayeth Dio.
Imagine fighting a war that lasted 40 years, that had no resolution, and whose outcome was incalculable amounts of wasted time, wasted youth, wasted breath.
When would it be time to say “enough”?
Some fans of Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath have been waging such a war for decades and can’t stop themselves from charging once more into the breach, going over the top into machine gun fire. Dying little deaths every day.
Wars of words fought over and over. A nightmarish endless war. One that finally must end.
They can’t do it. So I’ll do it for them.
No more Paul Di’Anno vs. Bruce Dickinson.
No more Ozzy Osbourne vs. Ronnie James Dio.
Stop now.
It’s over.
It never needed to be a war to begin with.
Paul Di’Anno was awesome on the first two Maiden albums.
Ozzy Osbourne did immortal work with Sabbath.
Then their stories ended with these bands (Ozzy had a proper reunion tour). And when they did end, others stepped up.
And also did immortal work.
Bruce Dickinson is Iron Maiden, as much as Steve Harris, and took the band to new heights.
Ronnie James Dio did awesome work on four Sabbath studio albums (The Devil You Know is a Sabbath album).
All four dudes are worthy.
That’s the story.
So let’s cut the shit with the comparisons. But you won’t, will you? Because you think you have some new cutting-edge argument that will finally settle the matter. That only you know the real truth, and the rest of the world needs to know.
You don’t know the truth. You just have an ugly opinion.
I’ve heard them all, all the arguments.
I hear them in my sleep.
But Maiden’s first two albums are so much better, and punkish, and cutting edge. If they had only kept Paul on…
Stop it.
But Dio turned Sabbath into something generic. War Pigs doesn’t work without Ozzy…
Cut the shit.
Here’s a 500 word Reddit screed about what Maiden might have done in 1983 if Paul DiAnno only…
I said cut the shit!
I hate counterfactual thinking. It’s a complete waste of time.
No one’s taking away the old albums.
More to the point, you were not there when band personnel decisions were made. Paul was fired, Ozzy was fired, and both with ample cause.
You have ZERO idea about band dynamics. Which is 10x more complex and nuanced than anything you can comprehend.
Find something else to fill your time than these tired, dead, arguments.
When you feel compelled to type for the 4,268th time how Maiden with DiAnno was “better and Bruce sucked” or how “the only real Sabbath was Ozzy Sabbath” here’s some advice.
1. Stop, take a breath.
2. Go to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of water.
3. Reflect on how pathetic your life is, and the wasted years you’ve put into typing nonsense.
4. Get your car keys or fob, drive your car to the local soup kitchen, help people in need.
You’ll feel better. The world will be better. And you’ll have saved the internet from clogging it with one more piece of shit.
The past is done and dusted, and we can celebrate it all now. All the iterations of our favorite bands. Stop with the black-and-white thinking.
Three of these four guys are dead and gone…let them rest in peace.
Get out of mom’s basement, appreciate life and all its variety.
I write this knowing it will not end these wars, but it’s my last word on it.
If someone asks me my opinion I will send them this link.
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