Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Zombie alert!

I'm taking a momentary diversion from fantasy battles to report an important news flash: Run, zombies are on the loose!

One of my worst fears, along with being consumed by a great white shark, is the possibility that one day the dead will walk the earth (presumably when there's no more room in hell, to steal a line from George Romero). I mean, I love zombie books and films, but when I watch or read about cannibal corpses it's with a strange mixture of revulsion, terror, and relief that I'm not one of the poor souls holed up in the shopping mall. Thus, when I clicked the link above I had a moment of panic before I realized it was a hoax.

Suffice to say that if I was driving along I-95 on the way to work and passed a sign that said "Caution!! Zombies Ahead!!", I'd be the guy you heard about on the evening news who was hospitalized after veering off into the nearest ditch. Missing the ditch, I'd be headed for home to grab canned goods, bottled water, shotgun, and axe and bee-line for my zombie-proof shelter in the basement.

(Thanks to my friend Falze for bringing this impending catastrophe to my attention).


Anonymous said...

You're really scared of zombies? I dunno, I guess I'm desensitized by having watched too many of the films as a child, but the idea of zombies being real amuses me more than anything.

I guess if there's anything I'd be legit scared of, it would be the more ethereal or supernatural stuff: ghosts, poltergeists, banshees, et al.

Chad Thorson said...

You mean I can come out of the basement now, and the guy I hit with that baseball bat wasn't a zombie?!!

Michael S/Chgowiz said...

Slow zombies. Meh. Those fast, nasty zombies from 28 Days? I'd be finding the nearest IL-NG armory and getting a few M249s and ammo.

In keeping with the RPG theme, one of the best D&D zombiepocalypse games I ever read about was on the Oakenspar777 thread on the old Gleemax forums:

Brian Murphy said...

Arcona: You're not scared of undead that want to devour your warm, living flesh? From whom a single bite spells infection, death, and your own zombification? You're made of sterner stuff than I.

Atom Kid: I'm sure that guy you hit with the bat is okay. That spreading pool of blood beneath his head--nothing to worry about.

Chgowiz: The running zombies in the new Dawn of the Dead and 28 days later were a terrifying shock, but I think prefer the slow, creeping doom of the Romero zombies. They are like death itself--you can run from it or keep it at bay for a time, but in the end, it is always there, implacable, waiting for you.

Michael S/Chgowiz said...

@Brian - Those zombies are like how I like to run my zombies, at least the ones that are "infectuous" - since they're not truly "undead", more diseased, then they can still move damn fast. Nothing gets someone attention faster than a disease carrier with no regard to their own wellbeing screaming after you.

The undead/juju/voodoo zombies of walking creepy death ... too easy to headshot them. Now make them still move AFTER removing all limbs, and then you'd have my attention really damn fast - and a flamethrower...